I regularly travel to my daughter’s place because there’s no one to take her child to school early in the morning, and he’s only in the first grade. My daughter has to stay with the youngest child and can’t leave her alone for a minute, so I agree to help her at least in some way. She won’t take her one-year-old daughter out on the street every morning, and if her son were a bit older, she wouldn’t worry about him and would send him by himself.
Half-asleep, every day, I take the bus at six in the morning and go to the other end of the city around two, in the same state, I take my grandson to school. I can’t even imagine why it’s so hard for my daughter to wake up twenty minutes earlier and see that several other women pass by me with both older and younger children, whom they carry in strollers. I didn’t understand then why my daughter couldn’t just go with her younger daughter anyway — fresh air is good for the child.
And I have to waste my precious time walking five minutes with the child to school and going back home to wait for lunch and pick up my grandson.
Mom, you’re not doing anything, and you’re receiving a pension, so it’ll be fine for you to walk around the city like this every morning.
As a result, a little later, my daughter decided to send her eldest son to additional classes because she thought it would be good if he started swimming and playing football. She seems to think I have so much time and am eager to go somewhere with my grandson. It’s actually very difficult for me to follow all my daughter’s instructions because when I get home, I feel like sleeping, even though at that time, I could see my friends or invite someone over.
But the most interesting thing is that I don’t find time to see my son’s children, and recently, he even started getting upset with me because of that. But they rarely get upset with me and say that we can meet when I have time. But I’m starting to feel like everything is my fault. I don’t want to dedicate time only to my daughter’s grandchildren because over time, I notice that my son’s grandchildren are becoming less and less happy about my visits or even expecting me to come and visit them. My son and daughter-in-law try not to show their anger and constantly respond calmly:
We have plenty of time for the children, so you don’t have to help us with anything; it’s better to help your sister because she can’t handle two kids, she can be understood. It’s better to come visit us at least once; we’ll feed you well.
I immediately felt like crying after such words, but I didn’t even have time to rest, and I didn’t find time to visit my son, who lives even farther than my daughter. During the week, I go to my daughter’s to take my grandson to various classes, and on the weekends, I have to take care of two grandchildren at once because my daughter wants to relax.
She has many different plans for the weekend, and it’s as if I don’t have any. I still won’t invite my son because he only works on the days when I’m free. If my son comes with his daughter-in-law, they only spend a few hours, and then they go home, and we don’t see each other for weeks or even months.
A few weeks ago, my daughter announced that she would soon have a third child, and I would also take care of him because she didn’t find any time for herself at all, unlike me, a retiree. This news made me very angry because it seems like my children grew up together, but somehow, it turned out that one is a very responsible person, and the other is not only irresponsible but also cheeky. What did I miss in my daughter’s upbringing?